does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize