I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
