haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
