If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
