She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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