Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
