Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize