is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
