super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
