i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
