Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Everything about him screamed your future.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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