Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
