tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
