addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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