do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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