what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
