how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Watching her eat just hurts me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize