So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
