Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
