I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
