But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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