speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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