I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
