P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
