Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
