Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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