what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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