A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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