Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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