I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
