He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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