69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
