he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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