he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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