My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
you would pick up someone in the library
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
