wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
