its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize