i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
