It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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