i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
