I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
