Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
