He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
