I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
