WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
