I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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