Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
