Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
