How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
