Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
