So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
