This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
