So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
