She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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