why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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