____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
