I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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