worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
