As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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