A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
