Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
