Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
