I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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