i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
