you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize