I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
