think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
