my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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