if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
