i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
