in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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