Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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