If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize