I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
