Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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