do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
