What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
