Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
