Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
