I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
