you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
